We have learned to live with
"voicemail" as a necessary part of modern life. But, have
you wondered what if God decided to install voicemail?
Press 1 for requests
Press 2 for thanksgivings
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
What if God used the familiar excuse... "I'm sorry, all of our
angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer
is very important to us and will be answered in the order it was
received. Please stay on the line.
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in
prayer?
For Gabriel, press 1
For Michael, press 2
For a directory of all other angels, press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a psalm while you
are holding, please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven,
press 5, enter his or her social security number, then press
the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try Area
Code 666.
For reservations at "My Father's House", please enter
J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of
the earth, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you
arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once
today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30am. If you
need emergency assistance when this office is closed,
contact you local pastor. ------
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Voicemail
